This is your IdeaShape newsletter, February 2003,
with ideas on leadership and life for executives, managers,
consultants, and executive coaches.
By Pam Fox Rollin, IdeaShape Coaching & Consulting
http://www.ideashape.com

Contents
A. Big Idea
B. Action Challenge
C. Resources
D. Note from Pam

KNOW ANYONE WHO MAY ENJOY THIS?
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For workshops on this topic in the San Francisco Bay Area:
http://www.moreaboutyou.com/programs.htm
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A. Big Idea: What's driving you?

"We are stuck in patterns of grasping and fixating which cause
the same thoughts and reactions to occur again and again and again...
My first step was to decide I wasn't going to act on my
habitual momentum."
-- Pema Chodron

"I'm driven to succeed." How many times have you heard that from
your new team members or job applicants... or yourself?

Ever wonder what's underneath that drive?
Is it a love of what you're doing and a deep sense that now's the time to do it? Or does your drive spring from a fear of insignificance? Or a belief that you've got to fight to hold onto what's yours? Or a resolve to never again experience rejection or loss?

Having habitual patterns doesn't mean we're bad or stupid or psychologically impaired... it means we're human. However, not seeing our own patterns -- and the drama those patterns create for us and everyone we work with -- does impair us. Not seeing our patterns means being driven by ancient fears and dimly-examined beliefs. Seeing our patterns means having choice... whether an aggressive (or accommodating or withdrawing or...) stance serves me in this moment.

This depth of self-awareness especially critical for us as leaders.
Perhaps you've seen whole teams who've accommodated themselves to
their leader's habitual patterns... the team becomes as stuck as their leader.  More subtly, even highly-effective leaders have habitual blind spots, often behaviors they unconsciously overuse.

What's driving you? And how are your habitual patterns impacting your
effectiveness with your team and others who look to you for leadership?

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B. Action Challenge: How will you get back in the driver seat?

1. Notice when you're "driven"
Often there's a moment when we get "hooked", when one of our patterns
pops into our behavioral VCR and plays out. See if you can just notice,
without blame or guilt, when your actions seem excessive to the situation
or driven by a tense energy.

2. Get clear on your patterns
A set of learnings called the Enneagram is the best roadmap I've seen for
understanding deep personal patterns... patterns so ingrained that
expecting us to see them on our own is truly like asking fish to describe water.  I encourage you to see if the Enneagram offers you some fresh insight into your habitual behaviors and underlying fears and beliefs.
(See Resources, below.)

3. Consider your choices and re-train your triggers
If you have a pattern, for example, of reacting to ambiguity with aggressive
moves to control the situation, what other choices might you make?
Can you learn to recognize the situations that triggers patterns you'd
like to adjust?

4. Get wise to your early warning systems
Often, our bodies offer us clues that we're hooked. Perhaps your gut
twists every time you try to act like you've got it all together when
really it's time to ask for help. Or your shoulders tighten when
you slip into your skeptical "prove you're not out to get me" stance.
You can use these clues to notice you've jumped into a pattern.

5. Cultivate calm in your life
Typically, our defensive patterns are most likely to run the show when
we're stressed, overwhelmed, and unaware. Is this true for you?
Consider what you can do to cultivate a "relaxation response"
rather than "flight, fight, or freeze." Even two minutes of
intentional calm in the middle of a frenzied day might be a real
help in noticing your patterns and choosing actions that will serve you.


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C. Resources

Learn more about your own patterns with workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area:
http://www.moreaboutyou.com/programs.htm

Understanding the Enneagram, Revised Edition, by Don Richard Riso
and Russ Hudson, 2000
-- If you want a practical yet deep guide to using the Enneagram for self-development, I highly recommend this book.

Essential Enneagram, by David Daniels and Virginia Price, 2000
-- At 100 pages, the shortest, solid introduction I've seen to the nine
Enneagram types

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D. Note from Pam

As I've done this work, I've needed to face my own fear that as
I become more grounded and less driven I may experience less success.
What if I relax and loosen up on my own habitual patterns... might I
lose the drive that seems to have worked for me so far? In talking with
colleagues and clients, I've discovered this is a common fear.

Our patterns keep us in our comfort zones. For many of us, that zone is
cozy and warm and big enough to accommodate most of our professional
and personal ambitions. Yet, that zone is inherently limiting. When we take a hard look, we're likely to notice that our attachment to our "drive" (or or aggression or observer stance or neediness-disguised-as-giving or whatever) makes it hard for us to be all that we are... to build effective relationships, to consider new business and personal paths, to enjoy our lives deeply.

What I've experienced is the more I look at my patterns with calm awareness, the more choice I have. Then I can exercise that choice to build greater success.

You receive this email every month or so with ideas and resources
you can use to shape your success. Some of these ideas may
strike you as obvious... I invite you to step back and look at
how this is actually working in your life. Others may seem
far out... I invite you to consider how much choice you
actually have. If you'd like to get in touch about any of this,
please email me. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Warm regards,
Pam

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WHAT WOULD IT MEAN TO YOU TO...
Expand your capacity to take on bigger opportunities?
Lead your team to greater achievement?
Be your most creative, focused self in your work?
Shape a life that consistently fulfills you?

Contact us for leadership development, coaching,
facilitation, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (R), strategic planning,
and related services that help executives, fast-trackers,
teams, and professionals achieve their goals
faster and more easily.

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