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This is your IdeaShape newsletter, October 2003, with ideas on leadership
and life for executives, managers, consultants, and executive coaches.
By Pam Fox Rollin, IdeaShape Coaching & Consulting
http://www.ideashape.com

Contents
A. Big Idea
B. Action Challenge
C. Resources
D. Note from Pam

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Are you a high-achiever who is ready more?
Now enrolling January-March leadership coaching program
http://www.ideashape.com/leadergym.htm
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A. Big Idea

"We first make our habits, and then our habits make us."
--John Dryden

"He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought
will never be able to change reality."
--Anwar Sadat

Perhaps you want to delegate more, focus daily on your priorities
rather than succumbing to the fray, ask your staff more questions
instead of first giving them your answer, organize your thoughts
before offering them in a meeting, etc.

How's that working for you? What do you do that makes it easier for you
to change your behavior? How often does the change stick?
How often do you revert back to your old ways?

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B. Action Challenge: What do you need to put in place to change your habits?

Here are some ways I see smart people trip themselves up when aiming to change a behavior:

1. We're foggy on what we want to do in place of what we're doing now.
2. We're fixated on one way of viewing the situation, and that view isn't very powerful.
3. We focus on changing our behavior, and we forget to change our mindset.
4. We make a fuzzy mental note rather than a commitment to ourselves and others.
5. We haven't accounted for resistance from ourselves and others.
6. We put in place too few tactical and relational support structures.
7. We take ourselves seriously, seek perfection, and become not so fun to know!

Any of these familiar to you? At your best, what do you do instead?
And, how do you coach your staff or colleagues to support them
in changes they want to make?

Would it be worth your time to
1. Become very clear on what you aim to do.
Or, perhaps, what you are called to do
2. View the situation in a more powerful way (usually, this means taking
more responsibility -- the more you're responsible, the more you can
change the situation).
3. Become aware of your beliefs about you, others, and the situation
--and open to testing them in reality.
4. Make a sincere commitment.
5. Anticipate and acknowledge from yourself and others.
6. Establish tactical and relational support.
7. Laugh at your foibles, be gracious in your struggles, and keep experimenting.

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C. Resources

"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
by Stephen Covey, 1989
-- Perhaps still the best resource on making commitments to yourself
and others. If you read it 14 years ago, maybe it's time to dust it off and see
what you can glean this time around.

"Play to Win" by Larry & Hersch Wilson, 1998
-- A profound yet easy read on thinking more powerfully.

"Wisdom of the Enneagram" by Don Riso and Russ Hudson, 1999
-- A guide through an apparent paradox: healthy change means
becoming more fully who we are -- and relaxing our grip on who
we claim to be.

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D. Note from Pam

On a recent LeaderGym learning call, we had a lively conversation about challenge #2:
"we're fixated on one way of viewing the situation, and that view isn't very powerful."

"Fixated!" you may say. "I'm not fixated, I'm right! I'm just telling it how it IS."

Maybe. Trouble is, it's really hard to grow when you're already sure you're right.
As John Kenneth Galbraith noted, "Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof."
With some reflection, you may notice what a long and winding road it is
from "the facts" (as a camera might record them) to your one view of the situation.

Here's an exercise coaching clients have found useful when seeking to change behavior:
- Write down the story you're telling yourself about this situation.
For example, your mini-novella about how your executive team doesn't
get the needs of your part of the business, how they're focused on the wrong issues,
how you're fighting the good fight, how frustrating it is.
- Circle in your story the few key fundamental facts of the situation.
For example, you submitted a cap ex proposal. They said no.
- Invent at least two more stories that use the same fundamental facts but are
vastly different from each other and your original view. Include some versions
that move you up to a starring role in driving the plot. These stories do NOT
have to be "true" for this exercise to "work." They merely need to be
plausible based on the core facts.
- Let these stories simmer in the back of your brain. Soon, you'll become
aware when you see yourself step into your primary story. You'll also start to
see support for the other stories you made up. ("Interesting... seems like my
Story #3 might be in play, after all.")
- From this greater awareness, you find yourself more open to other
perspectives and less attached to being right. Consequently, you give
yourself more elbow-room to change your views and your behavior.

Give this a go, and let me know how it plays out for you.

You receive this email every month or so with ideas and resources
you can use to shape your success. Some of these ideas may
strike you as obvious... I invite you to step back and look at
how this is actually working in your life. Others may seem
far out... I invite you to consider how much choice you
actually have. If you'd like to get in touch about any of this,
please email me. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Warm regards,
Pam

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WHAT WOULD IT MEAN TO YOU TO...
Expand your capacity to take on bigger opportunities?
Lead your team to greater achievement?
Be your most creative, focused self in your work?
Shape a life that consistently fulfills you?

Contact us for leadership development, coaching, facilitation,
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (r) and related services that help
executives, fast-trackers, teams, and professionals
achieve their goals faster and more easily.

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Are you a high-achiever who is ready more?
Now enrolling January-March leadership coaching program
http://www.ideashape.com/leadergym.htm
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